We all want to be happier and more well-adjusted, and looking for ways to achieve that is a positive thing, but not when you’re not targeting the right issues in your life. Chasing happiness through shallow, temporary measures is futile if you’re unhappy in your job, relationship, and friendships.

You cannot fix a bad marriage with lots of meditation, diet and jogging, trust me. Achieving true happiness centres on dealing with the issues that beset you first, and that doesn’t have to be the huge task it can seem.

You cannot fix a bad marriage with lots of meditation, diet and jogging Click To Tweet

That’s not to say that using techniques like meditation, yoga, diet and other ways to improve your mental state aren’t a good accompaniment to a real effort to change and improve your life. Mental and physical wellbeing is crucial to being happy in the long term.

We’re All Very Different

We all react to events and circumstances in different ways. If you’re searching for ways to become happier, and more centred in life, chances are, you aren’t the happiest person in the world right now. Or maybe you find yourself experiencing patches of depression. That’s incredibly common nowadays.

However, everyone reacts to bad situations differently. You’ve got people who flex a little, and then break down, and completely reject the situation; you’ve got people who deal with things healthily and honestly; and you’ve got people who bury their heads in the sand.

Everyone reacts to bad situations differently. Some flex a little, and then break down, and completely reject the situation; some deal with things healthily and honestly; and some bury their heads in the sand.

Deep in the Sand

So many people refuse to face the issue that really upset them, and plough their remedying efforts into all sorts of random directions. Ignoring the situations isn’t just dangerous in terms of not dealing with the problem, but it lets the problem grow to bigger and more dangerous proportions, all the while distracting, stressing and upsetting you more. Then it starts to take over your life, and you can’t get on with all the things you need to be doing, and before you know it, a problem which could have been dealt with painfully immediately has become five years of repressed unhappiness, and a period of depression.

Ignoring the situations isn’t just dangerous, but it lets the problem grow to bigger Click To Tweet

Pushing your thoughts and worries away does not deal with them. If you’re trying to cover up the fact you’re deeply unhappy in your relationship, for example, with a myriad of efforts to become happier and more balanced, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

For one, you’re building on dodgy foundations, meaning there’s no guarantee long term. Beyond that, do you really want to spend your life deluding yourself? You absolutely cannot simply push through with surface level measures.

What’s Bothering Me?

That raises the next issue; becoming aware of why you’re unhappy. It’s not always clear when it’s career, relationship or health related. Too often we can’t see the forest for the trees, and when we seem to have achieved all of our earlier goals, it can be very confusing as to why we’re not content with how everything has turned out.

continue to part 2