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You shouldn’t let that happen. Like with grief, there are a lot of emotions that you simply need to live through, and accept as being an influence on you. The sooner you accept that, the better. When I say feel things, I don’t mean get reflect them. I don’t mean pass the anger, the spite or the sadness on to someone else. Just experience it.
The more open you are to feeling things, and experiencing the bad stuff, the easier the good stuff will seep into your life. It once again comes down to meditation, when it comes to opening yourself up to things, and letting emotions wash over you. Don’t close yourself off through escapism or other means, you’re shutting out a lot of good stuff too.
Hold Yourself to Task and Don’t Let Things Slide
In life, bad luck and misfortune can take many things from you. You can lose out in so many ways, and the world can take so much from you, all in the blink of an eye. One of the very few things you’ll struggle to lose, once you’ve attained it, is integrity.
True integrity, and the self-discipline that comes with it, are invaluable character traits, that’ll see you truly achieving the things and goals that you set out to. There’s no other way around it, if you want to achieve big things, and be respected, you need solid integrity.
Fortunately, while building the powerful internal strength that is integrity is a mammoth task, it starts very small. Hold yourself to task. Don’t let things slide. All you really need to do is what you say you’re going to do. Don’t let people down.
The instant you start letting things slide, and making excuses is the instant you lost respect for yourself. Once you’ve lost respect for yourself, how can you expect to be respected? How can you expect to be happy, when you don’t approve of your own behaviour? Hold yourself to task.
Self-Respect is Crucial
The importance of integrity is vital in a lot of different ways. One of which is simply making sure that people can rely on you. Another is strength of character. Another, and arguably the most important when it comes to happiness, is self-respect.
Without approving of yourself, and the things you do, the way you behave, how can you expect to be happy? Any kind of shame, self-loathing or internal disapproval can be extremely damaging to your overall happiness.
I’m not saying you have to live like a stoic monk, but you do have to live by your own set of ethics, opinions and ideas, and respect yourself. That means standing by everything you believe in, and not letting others take advantage of you.
While reaching a point where true self-respect is second nature might seem difficult, once again, it doesn’t have to be. If you develop integrity, and live by it, you can erode away at any self-doubt, and build the kind of self-respect that is undefeatable. This forms one of the many pillars that can hold up happiness.
Don’t Let Ego Dominate
With integrity and self-respect running strong, it might seem impossible to avoid building a potent ego. But be aware, when you get relentless egotism, you get problems. It’s distancing, you’ll find yourself becoming superior, selfish and self-important, and with that loneliness, both imagined and practical. People don’t like arrogance, it’s poisonous, insidious and ugly.
Ego forms the antithesis of gratitude and humility, two of the most attractive, charismatic and happiest human character traits. Without gratitude, you can’t hope to achieve any kind of contentment, and you’ll perpetually be grasping for more. Without humility, you’ll be pushing people away, and forever deluding yourself. Learning to tackle ego, and let gratitude and humility lead your thinking is the best way to be.
It doesn’t have to be difficult either. It all just starts with a little self-questioning. Looking around, and seeing what you already own and have in your life. Keeping a gratitude journal, and keep an eye on that ego to make sure it doesn’t keep swelling your head. It’s all just consistency, just use your arrogant logic; if you’re all that great, you should be able to reduce that ego, right? Because if you can’t you’ll really struggle to get past loneliness and greed.
Don’t Let Other People’s Values and Goals Define You
Like with integrity and self-respect, it’s hugely important to live by your own rules in every way you can. If you find yourself constantly conforming, not just externally, but internally too, to other people’s moral compasses, values and goals, that’s going to limit you. Only you can really say what your values and goals are, so don’t let other people influence that.